I’ve been feeling pissed off for the past few hours, especially in the last 60 minutes, and I can’t figure out why. I’ve slept off most of what felt like tonsillitis yesterday, and I’ve had a good day. Nothing has really happened to make me feel this way.
Here’s how I had planned my evening:
- go to an exercise class
- go home and have food
- write a letter
Here’s how my evening went:
- skipped exercise class (because I would’ve had to rush there from work and I’d forgotten my contact lenses)
- plonked myself down in front of Netflix with food
- continued watching Netflix while foam rolling instead of exercising at home
- wrote nothing
When I was still binge-listening my way through The Minimalists’ podcast, I kept wincing at the constant mentioning of “spending time productively”. Focussing on what you want to do and then spending all your time doing that. What, I thought, is there no space for just being lazy?!
Nearly two weeks into my *~*search for meaning*~* and I’m starting to realise that there isn’t. Not if the time for laziness has been stolen from the time that was allocated to something else; something more productive. I just know that I would feel a ton better about myself if I’d used my time differently tonight.
It took me about 20 minutes to figure this out.
It’s a bit scary and very fascinating, how quickly we can tune into ourselves if we remove the distractions for a moment.